Dreams

And with a farewell, my taekwondo coach told me in Korean, something with the word “dream.” For me to pursue my dreams and “fighting.”

My dinner with the Korea group back home is Saturday, June 20th. I already planned on going to the HmoobTeen Dance to volunteer and to flaunt my wicked style/outfit. However, some of my girl friends from high school are having a reunion and we’re going to have a red carpet night. An appropriate party, unlike most adult parties, you know? We’re fresh from college and I’m fresh from .. abroad. And if (I’m hoping) get into the Bridge to Academic Excellence Program, I have to move in to my dorm on Sunday, June 21st, which is the next day.

I’m always sitting at school, studying and doing computer graphic design work. I get so bored of it sometimes and thoughts just go through my head so I have really taken an interest in writing. So on Wednesday I sat down and started writing lyrics, since I hate poems. And then it continued .. I wrote my first song! I like my songs, I got them down. I wrote more and more and now Amanda L., Hannah, and I are working on my first song. I have the tune / lyrics down, I need musicians, and I really love them for helping me out. Their insight is spectacular!

And then there’s Rotary meetings / parties going on. I believe the students at my school are envious of me because I get to go home early and prepare. The class leader thinks that I’m ditching and I’m so mad about it because I hate looking like a bad student.

I need to send my March newsletter and my April newsletter. Taking a long time because of photos.  : S

And oh~ Jolly, coins ..

Two of my most favorite people got married this past weekend. ♥

I ended up not going to the Big Bang concert, which was about two hours away from home. I ended up not going to the amusement park with a school friend — I think she’s busy with design competition.

Hannah and I made a documentary on a day of our lives on Sunday. I happened to have my camcorder and all of the sudden it hit me — Since we’re super silly, we should make a video. I just completed editing the video — there are four parts. I only uploaded it on facebook, so go to it or let me me if you want to see it.

No school Tue.-Tue. : )

My omma suggested for me to go to the Boseong Green Tea Farm, but in the end she didn’t go and Rotary made it a trip for all. Which I think, is really unfair because my omma really wanted to take me there and she wasn’t invited in the end. It was originally a mother-daughter trip, but I liked the idea of including the other girls. It was a two hour drive, and Hannah, Amanda L., and I just wouldn’t shut up in the back-seat in the dead-heat. We must’ve annoyed Becca, Alyssa, and Amanda S. with our singing and our trio-collaboration. haha~ I don’t have a mp3 or iPod player, so I can’t be blamed. And yes, I must make the best of my exchange.

I’ve always wanted to go to Boseong Green Tea Farm. It is such a beautiful place — I captured it in my digital camera and camcorder. I’m sad Alyssa didn’t get to see it, so I’m making a video dedicated to her. We ate fried pork (my favorite!) with green tea seasoning for lunch. It was truly delicious! I bought organic green tea for 10.000 won. There were 100 teabags, it’s quite expensive, but now I have something to share with everyone back home.  : )  The girls thought I was crazy for buying such an expensive gift.  D:  I buy a lot of gifts from a siteseeing place for my family back home unlike the girls. They say they’ll get it in Busan, but it’s just not the same feeling.  : )  I had such a great time with the girls!

I met with Alyssa yesterday and we went to noraebang, which she paid for, and the time went by really fast! I went to the hospital with her because she had a physical therapy session, which I recorded on my camcorder.  : D  Afterwards, we ate at McD’s and I figured it’d take me a hour to get home and she gave me the right directions, so I was really thrilled. She made my day!

Today I was supposed to go to Taejongdae with my omma, but something came up so she made me go with her student, TaeJu, which I thought wouldn’t be good because I don’t really know him even though I go to church with him and hung out with him in a big group a couple times before. But it was really fun! He was really nice because he took used his electronic dictionary to communicate with me.  D:  Gosh, I felt like a little kid and like he was my foreign father. I thought it would be super-awkward, but it wasn’t. The walk must’ve been 1-2 hours, but the place was so magical, like Duluth, Minnesota. It was a nice workout, too! TaeJu, heard someone speak in Japanese and started a conversation. Then it turned out the girl is in Korea for Japanese tea ceremony training for about two weeks. She’s attending the same college as my best friend in America next year, and I was so thrilled! (Her English was so fluent, I would’ve mistaken her for a Japanese-American.) We exchanged our business cards. TaeJu and I went to a batting cage afterwards but I didn’t do it, although I’ve always wanted to. It wasn’t just the right timing and I could sense it.

I’m craving for palbingsu.

I did my TKD test today and I’m a blue-belt now.  : )

The chairman told Hannah that she had to be at Busan Station for the KTX this Saturday at the exact time, but he didn’t metion us (as usual — the burden is on Hannah) so I blurted out loud without thinking, “That means we can show up 30 min. late? Or whatever time we want! Earlier or later!” It just bugs me that he only directs it to one person, and that night, he told us all to be at the station at what-exact-time. Yeah, yeah, I like out-smarting people. : ) No matter who they are.

We’re All The Same

Oh no I’m MISERABLE!

I’m miserable because I’m .. out of money.

The rain looks fake. I was super-drenched with no umbrella. Ugh. Good thing I used my jacket as a shelter. Right as I walked towards my apartment, an grandfather (living in the same building) shared his umbrella with me, talking about how hard the rain was and that students were in school and how did I not know.  I told him I didn’t know. He was so nice.

Saturday was really nice with the GSE students and advisor.

Yesterday I wore a skeleton jacket to Church. I feel bad — I didn’t realize that I am not suppose to wear an outfit like that because it symbolizes the devil. Risa and I went to Nampo-dong together to meet with Hannah and Amanda Miko.  D:  Oh my goodness, there was an old man who just shoved my head aside while I was walking up the stairs talking with Hannah. I had my cap on and didn’t notice him! I got so mad I started yelling at him and he kept going down the stairs. I walked into the store Amanda Miko and Risa were interested in and started swearing out all the evil Koreans. The clerk was so annoying — so I came up with the concept of wearing a bowtie with a t-shirt after I saw SS501’s “Deja Vu” photo. The clerk copied Amanda Miko, Hannah, Risa, and I by putting on a necktie like us! Then later on when we were in the PIFF area, an old man shoved my head to the side. Could it just be my “Namja” (meaning: Boy / Man / Guy) cap? Geez.

Money.
I only have 16.000 in my Korean bank.
I have less than $100 in my American bank.
(I’m sooooooooooo broke!)

I have tried taking money out of my American bank, but my pin doesn’t work. Which is odd because I only know four numbers and two combinations. It absolutely cannot be another way. I tried the international bank in the subways so tomorrow I’m going to NewCore Outlet to try the Pusan Bank ATM. If worst comes to worst, I’m going to beg my parents for $200. That’s a lot of money but I’ve decided not to ship my stuff home. I’m going to buy another suitcase and pay for the extra fee. I’m scared things will get lost in the mail. Good thing I saved $20 in my wallet as emergency money.. and 1000 yen.

Yay, I’m going to the green tea field I’ve always wanted to go to since I saw “Summer Scent”!~

(My horrible drawing)

Protected: Disaster

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Sweeeeeeet

So I’m sitting here in the kitchen home alone eating kimbap. I refuse to eat pig intenstines and dokboki without ramen. It’s nice to have peace and quiet feeling ~ It’s meditation to me.

I’m really thrilled that one of my friends, Dana, finished reading “Glass Droplets.”  : )  I only sent it yesterday without bothering to correct the PDF file, which really changed the format in the text. Thank you for your positive review! Every word you presented about my fiction makes me feel stronger.  : )  Thanks Jeanneji for commenting here .. I will reply as soon as I can. You’re wonderful!

Lately I’ve been putting my hair up in a high ponytail and people really like it. I don’t ..  : )  But it’s nice having it up high. One of the kids in TKD told me my hair was really beautiful. Aw, the TKD kids are so sweet. One of the kids helped me put on the TKD gear for a TKD match, which I failed at (terribly). Also, there were only three TKD students present yesterday and I had to run 27 laps, do 500 jump ropes, and the split (very, very painful).

No school tomorrow. Must iron palace-style hanbok tonight. Rotary conference. Rotary Seoul trip is May 2nd-4th. Children’s Day is May 5th. All is well.  : )

Just when I’m running out of my money, my tears pour for a miracle ~ Which did, thanks to my Miguk Unni, Khou.  : )  I’m getting about $400US in my American bank account from my income-tax! I’m super excited!!~ I have to finish some college stuff too. Ah, I love you, Khou. You’ve helped me so much with college and I can’t wait for your review on “Glass Droplets.”

Comment please if you are interested in reading “Glass Droplets.”  : )
G’Day!~

Easter(n)

So I haven’t sent my March newsletter / report yet .. So what? You can wait a little while for it while I stress and dream about other things. : )

Yesterday Amanda L. told me “Antique Bakery” was finally put up on mysoju.com!~ Woot, I must’ve requested it like five times.  D:  Because I love my Ju Ji Hoon. ♥

Since there was a lot that happened for these past few weeks, I can only show you photos and give you some details!~

Korean traditonal fan dance (Rotary exchange students) taught by my 3rd Omma

The usual McD’s we (Rotary exchange students) go to before Korean lessons ~

A Sunday we got to meet MinJin (through Hannah) who’s planning to go to boarding school in New Zealand. After we watched “Slumdog Millionaire” (which is now one of my favorite movies of all time) in Shinsegae (newest and popular department store / mall in Busan) we went to hang out around BEXCO for the anime convention cosplayers!~ They were HOT! We also got free ice cream because of the Lotte Giants!

In my Rotary blazer for the Rotary GSE dinner  : )

HmoobTeen Magazine editors sent me letters and snacks! I love y’all!~ Made my day!

We have a favorite smoothie stand  : D

‘Mmm~ This chicken stick is so delicious! Even though I asked for the not-spicey kind, it still tasted spicey! (Learned from Alyssa who ordered a SPICEY one!)

A shot of a noraebang (karaoke room)

Amanda L., Hannah, Risa, and I went to Jinhae, the most famous city in Korea for its beautiful cherry blossoms!~ And you know Yolei (me), I like experimenting with new poses and concepts.

 

He is so gosh-darn adorable!

 

헐.. Molly went to the Big Bang concert featuring some other artists. They’re coming to a city near Busan! And they also draw prizes, like a date with FT Island or G-Dragon.  D:<  I’m so jealous! I want to go. Stand or sit, I’ll choose sit. Hmm~ And Becca and Alyssa went to the “Boys Before Flowers” concert hosted by Lotte. The tickets were god-darn difficult to get.

Taekwondo — I have improved! Just watch my swift composure .. I kick butt!  >: D

My Hmong / American / birth mum is so sweet! ♥ I talked with her for more than a hour yesterday about college, family in America, Korea, and my coming-home. OMG, I’m so excited! So I’ve cleared it up with her for going to college over the summer (hopefully I get accepted). She’s so funny — I told her that I bought so many things and I go out a lot and she just said, “Good. Since it’s a once in a lifetime experience, do whatever you can. Go see the world there.” Woot, my mother rocks!~ She dominated the conversation as usual.  D:  I already figured my major but she made me think twice. Ugh, ugh, ugh! What to do! I’ll figure by next year. I’ll keep striving towards good-ness!

On Easter I didn’t have plans with the girls so I hung out with my Omma for the first time. To think that I’ve been living here for .. since mid-December. We’re busy folks, seriously, so I looked after her bag while she was an usherette at an underground stadium. (HUGE!) Aftewards we couldn’t find the subway station so we waited for Appa to pick us up. We went to Home Plus and we had redbean shaved ice (topped with fruits). ‘Mmm!~ I love this! It’s sweeter and healthier than ice cream! I wished we had this in the US.  :’C  I’m sad ~~ I’m a fruits person this was definitely refreshing. We had early dinner afterwards and looked around Nampo-dong. Omma wanted to buy me a shoe but I wouldn’t.  D:  The shoes were all so pretty. We didn’t go to Lotte Dept. as planned but instead Omma, Grandma, Grandpa, and I went to an Easter musical / performance at our church and it was definitely touching.

A friend and I have discussed about Harry Potter and its coming movie. Ah! The Wolverine movie is coming up! It’s releasing in Korea before America (HAH!~) and the incredible, handsome Daniel Henney is in the film. A must see! I’m excited because this is his first role in a US movie!

Is everyone’s blood type written on their birth certificate?
Koreans believe in blood type. I don’t know mine!

I forgot to mention that I’m home early today because school had a test today and all I did was sleep. I couldn’t study for four hours straight!~ I made some new friends in my advertising class and one of the girls said, “I like you Lee Yang!~” and then she hugged me. Aha, Korean girls are so cutesy towards one another. I’m just a little freaked out when they do it to me. I must be the manliest one in class .. of the school.

I’m just writing all the time! ALL THE TIME! I have so many things to write about. Gah! GAH! GAH!~

Rotary Conference this week.

I think I covered everything!  D8

Otherwise if you want to see videos I recorded, you have to add me as a friend on facebook.

Glass Droplets

The reason why I haven’t blogged in like .. forever is because I continued writing “Glass Droplets” and I finished the short fiction two days ago. Four years of writing — And I have to say, I am very, very pleased with “Glass Droplets.”  : )  I hope to publish it someday. There’s a twist to the story. I have been left speechless — awed by my writing and the overall story. I don’t mean to brag but it truly is a story that makes you question and realize a very important factor about “love.”

I still cannot believe that I finished writing my first fiction. I have always left them uncompleted. I feel so good, so happy.

I am in love with my characters, R + R. ♥

I love Loveholic and Clazziquai, so view these music videos.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87GwQ-cJ1NI – (first part)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkpQFzJeBis – (second part)

The MVs… seems almost like “Glass Droplets”! Weird~ I was browsing through youtube for Ji Sun from Loveholic (my favorite singer) and decided to watch a MV featuring Alex (another favorite singer), thinking it was one of their other collaborated songs.  : )  I love those two music videos though.

Expect a long blog entry tomorrow!

Hmong: We are a People, not a country

Kuv yog Hmoob.

“I Am Hmong” by Stephanie Moua – Lakeville, MN

Our roots lie deep down in the rich soil of the Laotian hills. Where our soul was once with the spirits of the Earth. As we create quiet villages among whispering brooks and our suffering had made us strong. Then came the war like the distant thunder, we awoke to the sounds of crying. Our babies, our wives, and ourselves. A furious band of angry men tore down our villages, raped our women and killed our children. We desperately departed our loving roots, escaping into the night and into the jungles. Where there was starvation and brutality. The Mekong River swallowed our loved ones. Babies could not cry or they would die. From here, our roots dangling weakly behind us. We stumbled and fell and fought our way out. We waited and waited for our destiny.

One day, lots of giant metal birds came gliding into our lives and loaded our people into the cloudy skies. As we were weeping, we climbed out of our world into your world, we felt more pain than ever. Our culture, our life, our home was all destroyed. We hesitated to speak, we tried to relate, but our children now grow their roots in a foreign soil. Yet we cannot shake the Laotian soil from our feet. With new ways and new traditions, yet our soul still return to the Laos of our birth. For I am one of those children who grew their roots in foreign soil. I am Hmong.

— an excerpt from HmoobTeen Magazine Fall issue 2008

When I talk or think about my culture, I feel an indescribable sorrow. What should I begin with? More importantly, how should I begin? Where and when did we emerge? There is no written history from our people, but what if there was and was already destroyed? We were independent and proud pround people and didn’t mind being unknown because we were at peace. So thousands of us fled from China to the Indo-China countries because we didn’t agree with the Chinese. Those people who fled China to Laos were my ancestors. I don’t understand why the five million Hmong living in China are still named “Miao,” which is a term for “barbarians” in Chinese. EDIT: MIAO MEANS BARBARIAN IN LAOTIAN. THANKS TO PUKU FOR CLEARING IT UP! “Hmong” means “free men.” . . History needs witness and Science needs proof – The Hmong are here – I am a Hmong on the soil of Korea. Now we want to be heard. Because we have suffered for far too long.

I have always kept folktales and personal-experience stories of the typical Hmong life from my mother, grandmother, and grandfather in my heart. Superstitions, culture, clothing, and own language (dialects)..  We created a new peace of art – we sew on our story-cloths. War stories, troll stories, dragon sightings, tiger stories, life-style stories, refugee camp stories — I can picture every single detail when you tell me these stories.

The Hmong are all around the world now. Sure, we have westernized since the American Lutherans taken us in after the Vietnam War, and I’m proud in that sense. But how could most Hmong people nowadays have no remorse for their ancestors? It’s disgusting.

While most Hmongs were ashamed of their identity and trying to change instead of adapting to two cultures, I never let the thought of the suffering voyage my family and the (Laotian) Hmong fade. I enjoyed learning about my culture and when I get too close with learning everything too new, I end up in tears because when I see a person, hear a person, or read a book – my heart is breaking. The Shaman rituals, Hmong weddings, video documentries about China, our leader Vang Pao, our last resort hope:America (other: France and Australia), the refugee camp Ban Vanai, daily life of a Hmong person, the home and land and country, and the UN (United Nations) revealing video of Laotian government wiping out my people. I’m also trying to read all the Hmong books out there.

Maybe people in our community seek to be famous, rich — whatever. But I want the Hmong to be recognized and I wanted to be involve with the Hmong community so I joined CHAT (Center for Hmong Arts and Talent) in my junior high years and HmoobTeen Magazine. I want to do more in the future – for the low-income family, bad outcomes, gangs, and teen prostitutes.

Thus I do not want to change my religion – Shamanism, spirits and different realms. Creatures that are dangerous . . they all exist but why must humans ignore them? I remember writing a research paper on this topic, but the religion was just too broad. It is still a mystery.

If it weren’t for the Vietnam War, we would still be in the hills / jungles of Laos. We’d still be in Indo-China.

I’m glad I saw “Gran Torino” in South Korea with Amanda L. and Hannah. Of course, we laughed the most because no one understood American jokes-ish. The ending was sad. I could criticize about the movie, but I’ll leave that out now. The feeling . . I had something that escaped me almost a year ago — the fear of Hmong gangsters, the dangerous American setting, a sense of insecurity, an over-shadowed word for us — “Chinese/Japanese/Korean” . . I should be the only one in South Korea who understands this the most.

Hannah said to Amanda L. and I, “You guys, I will never forget this day. I got to sit between two Hmong people during the movie and you guys translated the Hmong parts for me.”

Thanks Hannah.  : )  Thanks Amanda L.

Our [Hmong] history is such a mystery . . our unknown identity to a recognizable one.

Why do I care? Passion. Family. Community. Society. Identity. Culture. And our Culture is almost Extinct.

www.engr.wisc.edu/studentorgs/hae/hmong.html
www.akwebster.com/hmong/hmong_history.htm